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Red & White Humor
By 
John Stroade Shay, Sr.
 

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 HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

   Compliment her,

   cuddle her,

   kiss her,

   caress her,

   love her,

   stroke her,

   tease her,

   comfort her,

   protect her,

   hug her,

   hold her,

   spend money on her,

   wine & dine her,

   buy things for her,

   listen to her,

   care for her,

   stand by her,

   support her,

   go to the ends of the earth for her ... 

 HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

    Show up naked,

   Bring beer....

   Compliments of Tom Bear 


 

Only after the last tree is cut down, the last of the water poisoned,
   the last animal destroyed... only then will you realize 
you cannot eat money.

  (Cree Indian Prophecy)

More Red & White Humor ...

with 
Dick & Eleanor Markle Houser

jumpinjulian.jpg (184273 bytes)

                   The way folks talk in good ole Central Pennsy!!!!

                      
  You walk carefully when it is "slippy" outside.
                        You often go down to the "crick".
                        You tell your children to "red up" their rooms.
                        Have you ever gotten hurt by falling into a "jaggerbush?".
                        Your mother or grandmother is wearing a "babushka" on her  head.
                        You've ever "warshed" the laundry.
                        You firmly believe that George "Warshington" is on the dollar bill.
                        You know you can't drive too fast on back roads, because of the deer.
                        "Gumbands"... need I say more
                        A girl walks up to three of her girl friends...."hey GUYS."
                        You drink "pop" and eat "hoagies.”
                        You know what a still mill is.
                        "I live just west of Picksburgh."
                        You go to Ocean City or Virginia Beach for vacation
                        You'ns is a commonly used word.
                        Chipped ham was always in your refrigerator.


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